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| Giving and Taking Criticism is Key Feedback, particularly if it is negative or critical, is always hard to hear. Organizational communication experts talk all the time about the importance of giving employees feedback on their performance. However, when it really comes down to it, how candid or honest are most performance reviews? How directly do most managers take on and communicate when certain employees aren’t getting the job done? Recently, I taught a communication seminar at a local college. Because I had to cut out a little bit early for our young son’s first baseball game, I did not ask participants to do the usual written evaluation. I of course assumed that I did a great job and that my communication style and approach resonated with most students. However, I later found out that this was not the case. In fact, in a very hard-to-listen-to conversation, a prominent dean at the university told me that more than a few students were less than pleased with both my ending the seminar early as well as what he described as my “in-your-face” style. My immediate reaction was to defend myself, but the dean insisted that something must have been different with my teaching style, since virtually all student evaluations before this were well above average. Here’s the point. It is easy to receive feedback like, “You are doing a great job, Joe, keep it up.” However, some of the most valuable feedback we can receive is critical of our performance. It tells us what others perceive in terms of where we fell short. What is interesting is that the only way we can truly improve our performance (regardless of what we do professionally) is to receive and accept critical feedback without being defensive or argumentative and figure out how to improve or revise our communication approach. With this in mind, consider some tips and tools on both giving and receiving feedback that is less than glowing: --If you think a colleague’s performance in a meeting is sub par, tell them where you think you fell short: “Jim, I felt that your opening comments went on way too long.” Offer a specific recommendation as to how to get it right the next time; “Jim, I strongly suggest that we go into our next sales presentation with a few open ended questions that get our sales prospect talking so that we can figure out what they want as opposed to telling them what we have to sell.” --Be prepared for some push back from Jim. When he does push back, just let him know that this is how you saw it and ask him; “Jim, I’m only trying to get our sales prospects fully engaged. Your comments were accurate. I just wanted to hear more from the client as to what they need.” --As for being on the receiving end of critical feedback, it is incumbent upon all of us to fight the urge to fight back. Of course it is a defense mechanism, but the problem is that we don’t take a closer look at our performance. The person providing the feedback isn’t saying you are bad. They are just saying you could be better. Who among us can’t improve our communication? I know I can, which is why when I got past my initial defensiveness regarding the university seminar, I realized that I can understand some of the negative feedback the dean was sharing with me. In the end, the customer is always right whether you agree or not. Write to me at sadubato@aol.com with a situation or scenario where you received negative or critical feedback. How did you respond, and what did you take away from the experience? Steve Adubato coaches and speaks on communication and leadership and is author of the new book "What Were They Thinking? Crisis Communication: The Good, the Bad and the Totally Clueless" (Rutgers University Press). Write to him at The Star-Ledger, 1 Star-Ledger Plaza, Newark, NJ 07102, visit his Web site at www.stand-deliver.com, or e-mail him at sadubato@aol.com. |
